Your Kids Need You to Do This
By Andrew Calabrese
Parenting is one the most rigorous jobs on the planet. Ask any mom with young children, and she would most likely agree that it can wear you out.
Sometimes, the best thing to do for your kids is to get away with your spouse, so both of you can recharge, refresh, and then get back to the grind, revitalized, and on mission.
But how does that happen? I can tell you this — it won’t happen by accident. Sadly, many married couples aren’t intentional about spending alone time together apart from their children, and, because of that, their marriages and families are diminished.
“One of the best gifts you can give to your children is to love and prioritize your spouse.”
My pastor has often said, “One of the best gifts you can give to your children is to love and prioritize your spouse.” I couldn’t agree more. Here are some intentional ways you can ensure you and your spouse get a needed break from parenting every now and then, and allow time to focus on your marriage relationship:
Schedule Dates — It’s been rightly said, “What gets scheduled gets done.” We need to plan consistent time away on our calendars, even if it’s just for a few hours. It’s vitally important that you and your spouse have incorporated time away on a regular basis.
Do a ‘Kid Swap’ — Find another family whose kids are similar in age to yours who would agree to watching your kids while you go out, and you can return the favor for them whenever they’d like to go out. Your kids will enjoy the time with their friends, and you’ll save yourself the cost of a babysitter. Chances are, there are other couples you know with kids, just like you, who are needing to have some down time as well, and they would be happy to arrange something with you.
Get a babysitter — You probably know some responsible teens or young adults with character who would love to make some extra cash, while at the same time have a positive influence on your kids. Don’t feel pressured to pay them an extravagant amount for their time, but be sure you compensate them fairly.
Tuck the kids in bed early — This has been so good for Katie’s and my marriage! Your kids need to go to bed early for the sake of their health and development anyway. If you do this, it allows you and your spouse to have some quality time at the end of the day to connect. I’m not referring to time spent on the couch scrolling through your phones, but enjoyable time intentionally spent together.
Offer her a “Night Out” — To all my dads out there… let’s be honest and aware! Our wife usually needs the time away from the kids more than we do — especially if she is at home with them all day. Dads, I strongly encourage you to take initiative, and give her opportunities to go out by herself or with her friends ‘kid-free’ often.
Stop making excuses — If you and your spouse don’t make it happen, it won’t, and you’ll continue living day to day on the last thread that’s about to snap. It’s time to stop coming up with excuses for why you can never get away to spend time alone.
Parenting, by nature, is one of the most selfless jobs in the world that can simply drain you quickly. You need to be intentional about spending time refueling yourself and building your marriage relationship. What are some ideas that you have found successful in finding time to get away and take a break from your children?