Grace-Filled Parenting
By Andrew Calabrese
I was exhausted. It was a long day of work. I had accomplished much that day, and yet I was overwhelmed by the fact that I still had so much work to do. As I pulled into our driveway, I asked God to give me the strength, energy, and focus to engage my wife and children well.
When I opened the front door, my three older children ran toward me and with excitement shouted, “Daddy!” They wrapped their little arms around my legs and held on tightly so they could get a little roller coaster ride with each step I took.
My newborn was in her little rocking chair, and when our eyes met, she began smiling from ear to ear. I felt the love, I felt tired, but I felt the pressure. My kids hadn’t seen their daddy all day, and they wanted to spend some time with me. I set my things down, and then my six year old asked me, “Daddy, do you want to wrestle?”
If I were honest and had immediately spoke my mind, I would’ve said something like, “Honey, can’t you see I’m exhausted? Daddy has worked all day long. I just want to sit down and relax.” But I was compelled to do something different than just what I felt like doing. So with a purposeful smile on my face and with as much enthusiasm as I could muster, I did what I didn’t feel like doing, and I wrestled with my kids.
That moment may not seem like a big deal to you, but I know it was to my children. The truth is, kids crave their parents’ time and attention. They want to have fun with their parents, wrestle with them, play games with them, and make memories together — especially when it’s inconvenient or difficult.
Oftentimes, what keeps children from experiencing those good desires are parents that simply choose to do what they want to do over what they know they ought to do. At our core, we are all selfish. We like to serve ourselves first. We are often ruled by our emotions, feelings, and passions. I hate to admit it, but there’s been many times when I have pushed my kids to the side and didn’t engage them because I was simply being selfish.
Effective, God-honoring parenting requires a daily laying aside of ourselves so that we can meet the needs of our children. Paul’s exhortation to the Philippians applies well to parents as well:
“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4 KJV)
In order to do what this scripture instructs us to do, we will need a whole lot of God’s grace.
Perhaps there is nothing more important to consistent, faithful, patient, loving, and effective parenting than to understand what God has given you in the grace of his Son, the Lord Jesus Christ.
“Perhaps there is nothing more important to consistent, faithful, patient, loving, and effective parenting than to understand what God has given you in the grace of his Son, the Lord Jesus Christ.”
God’s grace is at the core of what we need as parents. Without it, we will be frustrated, selfish, and overwhelmed with our responsibility to lead, train, and nurture our little ones, but with it, our eyes will be opened to see ourselves more accurately as parents. God’s grace frees you from having to deny your weaknesses. God’s grace rescues you from you. God’s grace grows and changes you as a parent. God’s grace works to make your heart tender. And God’s grace can liberate you from the prison of regret.
God doesn’t call people to be parents because they are able, and He never calls us to this amazing responsibility without giving us what we need to do it either. God gives parents what we need by giving us Himself. And in giving you and me Himself, He showers His amazing, forgiving, rescuing, transforming, empowering, and wisdom-giving grace down on anyone who asks for it.
As you parent today, you are invited to remember that you are not alone in your house with your children. Someone else stands in the family room with you. Someone else walks the halls with you. Someone rides in the van with you on the way to yet another game or recital. Someone is with you as you enter your teenager’s room to have that difficult conversation. Someone is with you before you fall asleep, as you reflect on the moments of the day, preparing to face another challenging one. Someone is with you as you get up, already exhausted as usual, before the sun rises. He promised:
“I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” (Hebrews 13:5 KJV)
The One who called you to this very important responsibility is with you and because He is, there is hope. There will be times when you’ll find yourself pulling into your driveway after a long workday and you just feel like you’re at the end of yourself, but you can walk into your home with expectancy because your Savior’s grace is readily available and He will never leave you alone!